If you have read the books, you know that the Hitchhikers series has a unique humor that rarely misses and a sort of calm but unrelenting pessimism. The combination is what makes them brilliant. If you have not yet seen the movie, I beg you to keep it that way.

In this painful Disney adaptation, Ford loses his zest, Zaphod loses his intelligence, and Marvin loses his wit in favor of a freakishly large, round head. All the alien species save one are replaced with, inexplicably, humans. But these flaws are barely noticeable when compared with the mangling of the plot– not only are large portions of the original missing, but the director decided to replace them with plot of his own, completely banal, devising. Most offensive of all, Trillian and Dent become involved in an antithetical-to-the-entire-point-of-the-story romance, complete with nauseating declarations of twu wuv, and the happy-ending Disney kiss.

The worst thing about this all is that the first 30 minutes or so of the movie followed the books rather closely, with the unhappy result that the viewer enjoys it, and harbors pleasant expectations regarding the rest of the movie. It is only then that the director decides to take something that was wonderful, and dump the contents of his trashcan on it. I really cannot say enough bad things about this movie. I dearly wish that it had never been made, so that Mr. Adams could rest in peace.

Rating: 40/100